author Robert Hamera Slice of Life
Resolutions! Me make resolutions? You’ve got to be kidding. Resolutions are for those who are not happy with themselves and want to change some aspect about themselves that they don’t like. They are not perfect.
Me, on the other hand, I am perfect and there is nothing I want to change or need to change about myself. Therefore, there is no need for me to make resolutions.
However, that is no reason why I can’t make resolutions for others. That being said, here are my resolutions, in no particular order, for the people who live with me.
I resolve that you will feed me whenever I want to be fed and not according to some predesigned schedule of feeding you think is appropriate for me. After all, who here is the expert on when I am hungry?
I resolve that you will let me sleep whenever and wherever I choose. In addition, I resolve that you will not run the vacuum while I am trying to sleep. After all, to look this good I need my 20 hours of sleep.
I resolve that you will pet me only when I want to be petted and not when you feel like petting me. After all, I know I am cute and adorable but that doesn’t mean you have the right to touch it each time you walk by.
I resolve that you will wake up when I want you to get up and not when you feel like getting up. After all, if I let you sleep why it would be at least 8:00 A.M. until I was served breakfast.
I resolve that I will run around the house like crazy whenever I want. After all, I need my exercise to stay fit and trim.
I resolve that you will have boxes and baskets of toys for me to play with in every room of the house especially making sure that the nosiest ones are out at night. After all, I am entitled to have as many toys as possible.
I resolve that you will clean my litter box daily. After all, who wants to use a dirty one. Ugh!
I resolve that any food you eat is fair game for me as well. After all, someone needs to check that the food you eat is healthy.
I resolve that I will constantly be underfoot especially when you are busiest. After all, someone needs to make sure your senses stay sharp.
I resolve that you will keep the bird feeder filled so that I can watch bird TV whenever I want. After all, I am entitled to some entertainment.
I really don’t think there are too many resolutions here or that they can’t be met. I did lie, though. I did make just one resolution for myself.
I resolve that no rug or piece of furniture will be safe from my wrath if these resolutions are not kept.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!